I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
