Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Randomize
