i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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