Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
