you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
