My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
