I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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