Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
