Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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