my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
