I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
