My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
