Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
