my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
