O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
