i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
