Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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