I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
