I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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