just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
