Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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