Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
