:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
