all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
