Apparently you make a good broom.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
