just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
