I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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