One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
