I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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