Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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