Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
