Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
