I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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