ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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