No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
