His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
