i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
