ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
this is an emotional support booty call
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
