Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
