the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
