I got chris browned last night
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
