Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
