I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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