I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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