Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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