Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
