If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
