I think scott just propositioned me for sex
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
