I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just googled if crying burns calories
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
