How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
