no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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