i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
