thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
