I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
