I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
This toilet bowl is my home.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
