Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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