please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
